Becoming The Right Person

Our culture is obsessed with finding the "right" person we spend millions of dollars on dating services. As I read the Bible I think God is leading all of us to become the right person. God wants to shape our character our stories and our relationships. It isn't so much finding the right person as it is becoming the right person.

Sometimes as teens your decisions aren't based on the future but rather what the next minute has in store or the next hour that is your long term thinking. I want to stretch you to think a little bit further down the road. One day you will be a father/mother, a husband/wife - the decisions you make right now will effect the future. How you date does matter! Who you date matters! Your purity matters! Your marriage will be affected by what you do today, tomorrow, and in the next couple years. Who are you becoming?

Are you Dateable?

The person you are dating right now you will not be married to - let that sink in. The chances are you won’t be married to them - so don't ring shop in your head. How much you invest in this relationship will determine how much it will cost you when you end it.

Questions to ask if you are in a dating relationship:
+Have you said I love you, is your entire schedule shaped around the other person, do you share everything, have you lost good friends because you are constantly with them, do you spend all of your money on them, have you had physical intimacy with them?

If you answered yes to a majority of those questions than you are highly invested and it will take it’s toll when the relationship ends.

How you date will effect your married life

Everyone wants a great marriage right? No one is saying i want my marriage to be horrible and messy and end in a divorce. Think about what you want your marriage to look like.

Every football team wants to be the best and to be the best you have to train the best, you have to work hard, sacrifice, few teams become great because they don’t make the decisions they need to make to become great they aren’t willing to put in the hard work and it shows in the end result.

If you want a great future then you must be willing to live different now. If you live different now you will live differently when you are older.

If the person you are dating does not have the characteristics you are looking for in a future spouse then why would you even waste your time, energy, and emotions on getting to serious.

Our culture is so focused on finding the right person - we spend millions of dollars on services to find compatable people for us to marry, we have tv shows to find love.

I think God is more concerned with us becoming the right person more than finding the right person. If you become the right person you will attract the right person.

If you compromise now why wouldn’t you compromise later

The only way you should be in a relationship is if you are in it not for yourself and filling your needs if you are in it to gain security, to date the hottest girl, to get something out of it it is not a good thing.

Most girls believe lies that they can change him, that he isn’t that bad, that you are better than his last girlfriends, that he will treat you different

So what are you looking for in a spouse?

What Characteristics are you looking for in a future spouse?
Loves the Lord
Spends time with God - developing his character
Has a heart for people
Athletic
Loves to travel
Is wise with Money
Is compassionate
Has a good friend record
Invest in relationships

Are you working toward developing these characteristics as well?